


To-Do List

by musigneus



Series: Lists [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-12
Updated: 2011-04-12
Packaged: 2017-10-17 23:27:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/182491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musigneus/pseuds/musigneus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This time, it’s Remus who has a little list...of things he’d like to do with Severus. (Part 3/3 of the Lists series)</p>
            </blockquote>





	To-Do List

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lazy_neutrino](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lazy_neutrino), [tesseract_5](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=tesseract_5), [inkgeist](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=inkgeist).



In retrospect, Remus realized he should have given more consideration to the warning implicit in Severus's actions - Severus had, after all, commandeered the cellar to brew an experimental potion because he thought it was too dangerous to work on it at the school. But at the time, Remus had been focused on certain _other_ implications of Severus's presence in the house...

~*~

Remus faltered as he descended the stairs. Was this really a good idea? He could just wait and try to catch Severus on his way in or out of the house - then a casual invitation to share a drink would seem like just that, a casual invitation. Not necessarily an expression of...of... _interest_.

Only, he'd been _trying_ to "accidentally" meet up with Severus for several days now, and somehow Severus had always slipped in and out without Remus ever even seeing him.

It was only a glass of firewhiskey. Severus probably wouldn't even think anything of it. No, even if Severus really were interested, he probably wouldn't realize that an invitation for drinks - or maybe it should be for dinner instead? - meant _Remus_ was interested. Might be interested.

Really, the whole problem was that Remus had no idea how to proposition someone. The women he'd been with had all approached _him_ \- he'd only had to agree. Approaching someone else - approaching _Severus_ \- was a very different matter.

Just a drink. Surely, an invitation like that was unobjectionable, easily passed off as merely a friendly gesture if it turned out Severus _wasn't_ interested...

At the last, sheer frustration at being trapped in the same circular thoughts he'd been having for a week pushed him into rapping on the door.

Severus's voice carried clearly through the heavy wood. "Go away!"

Since that was Severus's invariable response to any attempt to disturb him, Remus ignored it and carefully pushed the door open. When Severus didn't immediately hex him, he stepped inside.

Severus scowled at the cauldron he'd been stirring, and from the way his lips were compressed, Remus gathered that things were not going well with whatever he was working on. Clearly this hadn't been the best time to come down...

"Well, Lupin?” Severus said impatiently. "What is it that you consider so important as to interrupt me? Because I won't believe you're here simply for the pleasure of my company."

"Er..."

That was probably Remus's cue to say he actually _was_ there for the pleasure of Severus's company. Or to seek his company for pleasure...

He felt himself blushing. He couldn't say that!

"Out with it, Lupin! Maybe you have all night to waste, but I don't," Severus snapped. He flung his ladle onto the table next to the cauldron and turned toward Remus. Behind his back, the potion he'd been stirring suddenly let out a series of short staccato pops.

To Remus, the noises sounded just like tiny gurgling burps, and he fought to contain his laughter as Severus whirled to glare at the offending cauldron. He suddenly felt much bolder.

"Severus, I was hoping you'd have a drink with me.” There, that hadn't been so difficult!

Severus's attention was immediately diverted from his potion to Remus.

"A _drink_? With you?” he said incredulously.

"Well, yes."

"Lupin, in all the years we've-" Severus broke off suddenly, his eyes narrowing. "No, I see. Indeed," he said, stalking toward Remus. "Tell me, _Remus_ , is it a drink you're wanting?” He leaned in close, and his voice dropped to a velvety murmur. "Or do you want something...more intimate?"

God, yes!

Remus's breath caught. Severus was so close - he'd kissed women, this couldn't be that different...

It was.

Severus's body was solid and angular against his, no softness anywhere. Not even his lips were soft. They were hard and demanding, as demanding as the tongue that suddenly invaded Remus's mouth. He would have recoiled in surprise, but Severus grabbed the back of his head and held him still, his fingers knotted in Remus's hair.

Remus was a bit breathless when Severus finally withdrew. "Severus, I..."

Severus's mouth twisted into a sneer. "What, Lupin, not what you expected? Nothing like your daydreams?” He released Remus and took a step back. "Well, now you know. You've had your little experiment with homosexuality - excuse me, _bi_ sexuality - with the only queer man you know, and it was a failure. You can go back to your comfortably heterosexual life, and-"

"No, I don't think so," Remus interrupted. "I think I'd prefer to try it again, at _my_ pace."

Severus went still, and Remus realized that, for all his innuendo, it had never occurred to Severus that Remus might actually want him. Before Severus's disbelief could turn outward as invective, Remus closed the distance between them.

This time it was Severus's breath that hitched, just before Remus kissed him, firmly but without the frantic pressure of their first kiss. After a frozen moment, Severus responded, first tentatively, then hungrily.

 _Definitely_ not like kissing a woman, Remus thought muzzily as he ground himself against Severus. He had never rubbed himself so shamelessly against a woman, and soft hips didn't work nearly as well for this as Severus's angular body did. But it would be even better without so many clothes in the way...

He began tugging firmly at Severus's robes, and Severus managed to get his mouth free long enough to gasp, "Lupin? What are you doing?"

"I believe it's called frottage," Remus muttered distractedly as he wrestled with Severus's clothes. "And I think it will feel even better skin on skin. Why? Would you rather start with something else? Mutual fellatio? Mutual masturbation? Or maybe you'd prefer to watch me while you give me _precise_ instructions..."

For once, Severus seemed to be the one blushing. "Have a list, do you?” he asked dryly.

"Several... Hah!” Remus grinned in triumph as Severus's robes finally came open. He tried to slide them off Severus's shoulders, but Severus grabbed them and jerked them back up. "Hey!” Remus protested.

"In case you hadn't noticed, Lupin, I am working on-"

"It'll keep!” Remus said, stripping off his own clothes.

"It'll _keep_? Have you lost whatever modicum of sense you possess? We're talking about a delicate and unstable potion, not, not... _soup_!"

Remus frowned, hurt. "There's no need-"

A tremendous hiss suddenly sounded from the depths of the neglected cauldron, and the potion inside frothed violently, spilling itself across the table and dripping onto the floor.

"Damn!” Severus snatched out his wand. In between _Evanescos_ , he growled, "You're worse than even Longbottom, Lupin! He at least has to _touch_ a potion to ruin it - you only have to be in the same _room_!"

Remus's temper flared. "It's not my fault that you let yourself get distracted!"

"Not your fault? _You_ were the one with your tongue-"

"And another thing! The way you treat Neville is unconscionable!” Remus said stridently.

Severus's face darkened with rage. "Longbottom is a spineless, incompetent-"

"He's a nice boy, and perfectly capable of learning when he's not being terrorized! You-"

"I suppose you could do better at teaching him?"

"As a matter of fact, I _was_ doing better-"

"Teaching him potions, not dress-up!” Severus snapped.

"D'you know, Severus, you've reminded me of all the things I don't like about you?” Remus's voice rose. "You're an arrogant, bullying-"

"You didn't seem to be thinking any of those a minute ago, Lupin!"

"I wasn't thinking at _all_ a minute ago - why else would I have been interested in _you_!” Remus yelled.

They stared at each other as the cellar echoed with their shouts, until Severus said, in a deceptively quiet voice, "Because you were willing to overlook anything for the sake of being _liked_ , Lupin, just like always."

Snarling, Remus charged, intending to bear Severus over backward - but Severus was faster. Cords flew from the tip of his wand, and Remus crashed to the floor, bound hand and foot.

"Are you out of your mind, Lupin?" Severus hissed, glaring down at him.

Remus cursed behind the cord covering his mouth.

Severus's glare abruptly vanished, and he turned sharply and bent over the remains of his ruined potion.

Remus thrashed violently, but he couldn't work himself free; he'd only managed to scoot a few inches along the floor by the time Severus straightened, still holding his wand.

" _Mobilicorpus._ "

Remus kept struggling ineffectually while Severus floated him up the stairs to the landing and deposited him ungently by an open window. The cool night air felt wonderful on his overheated skin, and his muffled shouts quieted.

Severus waited, leaning against the wall, his expression closed, until Remus finally became completely still. Then he removed the cord from Remus's mouth.

"Severus...I don't know what happened..." Remus faltered. He hadn't lost his temper like that in _years_ , maybe decades. And _why_ was he wearing only his underwear and his socks?

Severus removed the remaining cords and then slid down the wall to sit next to Remus. Sighing, he said, "I do."

Remus had to master a residual surge of irritation before he trusted himself to speak. "Well?"

"What possessed you to come barging in like that, Lupin? I _told_ you the potion was dangerous,” Severus said wearily.

"But I didn't have anything to do with the potion! I didn't touch it,” Remus protested. "And I knew you'd throw me out if I were really in the way."

"You didn't have to touch the potion, Lupin, that's the whole point!” Severus snapped.

Remus pushed himself to his feet and said, "Maybe you think that's an explanation, but I still don't have any idea what you're talking about. And if you-"

"If you're planning to be impressively indignant, Lupin, you'll be needing some clothes," Severus said, running his eyes slowly up Remus's body to his face.

Remus flushed and sat back down, wrapping his arms around his knees.

"I'm trying to produce a volatile variant of a befuddlement draught," Severus said.

Remus blinked. "Er-"

"Oh, for- We want something we can throw at a group of people to make them behave recklessly!” Severus said impatiently.

"I understood what you meant!” Remus took a deep breath. More calmly, he said, "What I don't understand is why you were working on something like that without protection. I mean, you and anyone walking in would be breathing it, and-"

"No one was _supposed_ to be walking in," Severus said irritably.

"But you-"

"I had an air-filtering charm on myself, of course. And a barrier charm at the doorway to keep any vapors in the room. I would have thrown you out if I'd realized it was at a stage where it could affect anyone. Apparently, I'm further along than I'd thought," he added grudgingly. "I expected the requisite fractions from the lovage would be more difficult to volatilize..."

"Oh. Er... I'm sorry for interrupting, then. And for...er, for..." Remus trailed off. What exactly was he sorry for? _Severus_ hadn't been under the influence, and he'd kissed him back.

"Look here, Lupin."

Remus glanced up, startled. He was even more startled when Severus pulled his eyelid up.

"Ow! What-"

Severus released his eyelid and performed a quick diagnostic charm, then smirked. "It's left your system, Lupin. Apparently you're achieving these new heights of eloquence unassisted."

The potion might have run its course, but Remus felt an unaccustomed surge of irritation regardless. Worst of all, it was entirely his own fault - he knew what Severus was, and he'd approached him anyway. Now he'd have to suffer the consequences - and Severus would doubtless mock him for _years_. Lips tightening, he asked, "Do you think it's safe for me to go in to get my clothes yet?"

He'd take a walk - that would help him calm down. And maybe it would also help him forget what he'd half hoped he'd be doing tonight...

"I shall retrieve them. If you want them, that is."

"If I want them?” Remus asked. "Why wouldn't I? Are they going to be contaminated with those fumes?” he said anxiously. He hoped not - those were his best robes, and that wasn't saying much.

Severus's expression was oddly neutral, but his eyes were intent on Remus's face. He still hadn't answered the question...

"Oh!” Remus was certain he was blushing to the tips of his toes. "Er, I- Well, I-" He gathered his courage. "What do you think I should do if I _don't_ , Severus?"

One corner of Severus's mouth lifted. "Are you asking me for instructions, Lupin?” he purred.

Apparently Remus's stunned look was answer enough, because Severus continued, "Take off those ridiculous socks, and stand up."

Rather shakily, Remus did.

Severus's voice dropped even lower. "Now take off those pants - I want to see you."

Remus hesitated. He'd be naked, and Severus still had his robes on. But his underpants were so thin his arousal was very visible already; it couldn't be much worse with them off. And if Severus were serious...

In a moment of bravado, he stripped them off.

The rapt, almost hungry look on Severus's face reassured him.

"Touch yourself, Lupin. Fist your cock... _Yes_. Show me what you did in my storeroom that day. Were you leaning against the door, imagining me watching you? Or did you imagine it was my hand on you, or my mouth?"

Oh, god. This _really_ wasn't going to take long, if Severus kept talking like that. His _mouth_...

"I could hear you, you know. Those breathy little gasps when you climaxed - it was all I could do to not touch myself."

"There's nothing...stopping...you now...Severus," Remus urged.

"I'd rather touch _you_."

"Yes! Please, yes..."

Severus stepped quickly forward and closed one hand around Remus's cock, tangling their fingers together, and Remus moaned. Severus's other hand slipped down to stroke gently behind his balls, and Remus cried out and came all over their joined hands, and Severus's robes, and the floor...

Breathing heavily, he let his head fall forward onto Severus's shoulder.

After a moment, Severus gently disentangled their fingers.

" _Scourgify. Accio_ Lupin’s robes."

A bundle of dark cloth came flying up the stairs, and Remus caught it reflexively. Shrugging into his robes, he said, "Severus, I... Do you want..."

"The potion is ruined, and I can't procure more scurvy-grass for another attempt until tomorrow morning at the earliest. So I am...unoccupied, for the evening. If you were...serious, about your list," Severus said with uncharacteristic hesitation.

"My list?” Remus suddenly remembered what he'd said earlier, while he'd been under the potion's influence. Mutual fellatio, mutual masturbation... "Oh, yes. Perhaps, erm, upstairs, though?"

"A bed _would_ be a more comfortable setting, Lupin. After you..."

~*~

Hours later, Remus was sticky and sated and sleepy. Yes, he thought drowsily as he listened to Severus's deep even breathing, he definitely should have paid more attention to Severus's warning - but he was glad he hadn't.

**Author's Note:**

> For lazy_neutrino, tesseract_5, and inkgeist, who requested a potion-induced row, suggested the confusing and befuddlement draughts, and requested more instructions, respectively.


End file.
